Teen Marriage

I think that teen marriage is a bad idea because most likely it is not going to last. Statistics show that teenage marriages do not tend to endure. Teenage weddings are one of the most consistent, and preventable, mistakes made in marriage today. Getting married is something that will change your whole entire life forever. Are teenagers too young to make that decision on their own?

Statistics show that teenage marriages do not tend to endure. It was found in a study that forty eight percent of teens that marry before the age of eighteen are more likely to be divorced within ten years, compared with twenty four percent of those who marry after age twenty five. “Most young women don’t fare very well when it comes to raising a family as a teenager, and those precious few who get married, the marriages are very short-lived,” said Bill Albert, chief program officer for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. I agree with Mr. Albert that most sixteen and seventeen year olds are not ready to take on grown up responsibilities. “They may not know quite what they want in a lifetime partner,” Dr. Popenoe said. “They still often have years of education to complete, as well as getting settled in the work world, and those two things may change their outlook on life considerably.” I believe that people need to wait to get married until they are fully aware of what they are getting their selves into. Both partners need to be financially stable and ready to support a family. To live in the real world you have to have the means of support needed to live, if not you are going to end up in trouble and you are going to have to find someone to bail you out. The teen marriage issue highlights another debate, about the meaning of being a teenager in the modern age. Experts say that teenagers from two or three generations ago expected to take on more responsibility at a younger age, and that parents and others today too often assume they cannot. “We have this complicated idea of what it means to be a teenager,” said Karen Sternheimer, a lecturer in sociology at the University of Southern California. “We’ve redefined adolescence as an extension of childhood, whereas it used to be a precursor to adulthood.” The debate over whether teenagers are prepared for marriage was being framed through the lens of a middle-class, well-educated demographic, for whom marrying before being able to legally drink now may look alien or redneck.

Teenage weddings are one of the most consistent, and preventable, mistakes made in marriage today. Getting married involves a lot more than falling in love and becomes a life-changing experience for many teenagers. According to Rabbi Shlomo Aviner, the rabbi of the Beit El settlement and head of the Ateret Kohanim yeshiva, mental maturity cannot be acquired through reading instruction booklets, but only through life experiences. "Without financial independence, mental independence cannot exist," he wrote, and called on the youths to experience an independent lifestyle in national service, the army and as students, before they choose to tie the knot. "A wise man learns a trade, then builds a house and then he is ready for marriage," determined Aviner according to the teachings of Maimonides. "A foolish man weds first and only then realizes he has no home, and when he is hungry remembers that he has no means to support himself." Sudden transition from bachelorhood to marriage, parenting and work can put an enormous strain on young couples. "It's not enough to get married; you must stay married and married happily," Aviner said. "Building a household is no game, this is an act that determines a man's fate for many years," wrote Rabbi Elyakim Levanon, rabbi of Alon Moreh. A man is obligated to work and mature for several years until he is strong enough to command his own life, and only then can he establish a genuine relationship with a woman. Teenagers need to prepare for life as a couple and dedicate time to learn what they will do in a time of crisis, what their individual roles will be in the household and how to relate to each other with honesty. Early marriage, without the necessary preparation, will never allow the partners to realize the full potential of their relationship.

In conclusion I believe that teen marriage is not always a good idea. Some teens do not understand what marriage really is when making their decision. To me, marriage is a lifetime commitment. Getting married means sharing everything, and it involves being with the same person for long periods of time. When a marriage works it is a source of infinite peace and joy. However, when things are not working marriage tends to amplify things in a negative direction. One of the biggest decisions that people have in their life is who they are going to marry. This decision changes your whole life forever.

Kershaw, Sarah. "The Fading Attraction of Teen Marriage." September 3,2008/November 3,2008 www.nytimes.com

Nashoni, Kobi. "Rabbis Against Teen Marriage." April 16,2007/November 3,2008 www.ynetnews.com